Pursue, Overtake and Recover All by Audrey R

I was a single mother and in May of 2016 there were many nights where I would lay next to my daughter, contemplating suicide.  Thoughts of failure, hurt and shame overtook me.  I had lost everything.  I would look at my daughter on the couch next to me and cry because she deserved to sleep in a bed.  I remember every night.  I would go to the top of a parking garage and scream at God, while my daughter sat in the back sit of my car.  I felt weak and incompetent. But then He spoke.

The deadline to move out of a family member’s house was June 1st.  God told me to start packing.  I didn’t have anywhere to stay and my heart dropped as I thought about sleeping in my car. He told me to get rid of the things I no longer needed: the clothes that didn’t fit, shoes that could no longer be worn, anything that created baggage.  This was my second time reaching out to the Natasha House.  The first time I reached out, I was denied because there were no rooms were available.

I went again to the Natasha House for the second time and spoke to the executive director. They said they would meet with me sometime next week.  The reality of sleeping in my car devastated me. Then I got a phone call and the executive director asked me to meet them that very afternoon. I shared my heart with tears streaming down my eyes and I told them that I needed a second chance. I moved in that night and my daughter and I slept peacefully in the bed they provided. But the Natasha House was only the beginning.

Like many single moms.  I had to take care of my child without the other parent’s involvement.  My ex-fiancé, the man I moved to California with, who I thought loved me, became someone I never truly knew.  I started writing about how his decisions wounded me and caused me heartbreak.  I begin writing about the hurt and emotions, always ending my writing with hope in God.  I started getting inbox messages from women encouraged by my writing who had gone through similar situations.

I turned my writing into a blog and wrote letters beginning with, “Dear Single Mommy.”  From there, I became a spokesperson for the Natasha House.  I started a single-moms life group at my church and am an artist using spoken word to tell my story. I graduated from the program at the Natasha House and my daughter and I now have our own place to call home.

I’ve found healing in my transparency and in God’s word. I found that I experienced Him most when I felt like everything around me was destroyed. I learned to trust what God said, that He is for me and no one can be against me. No weapon formed against me will ever prosper. I spoke those words over my life and I pursued, overtook and recovered everything!

Now I laugh at today and the days to come!

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stay social with Audrey by following her Instagram @dearsinglemommy and check out the Natasha House at http://natashahouse.org/

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